Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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