I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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