In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
