I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
