Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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