My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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