im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
