Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
