Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
