I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Randomize
