you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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