Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
