I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
