And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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