Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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