I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You made out with two different species that night
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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