thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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