my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
