So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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