Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
