you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
