So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Me too!
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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