i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize