I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
