He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
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Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
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Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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