I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
