Got a toothbrush?
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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