It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
