i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
