My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
