He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
