good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
