sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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