Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
