good thing vaginas are great cup holders
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Randomize
