it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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