girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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