Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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