Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
