her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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