please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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