I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
