If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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