the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
