i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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