you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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