I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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