Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize