Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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