yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
