K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
i out mim tonsoeep
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