Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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