oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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