if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just took my morning after pill in the library
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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