Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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