Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
