it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
