She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
