I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
